|Redistribution of Water to Deprived Areas|
It's obvious that someone high up (hi Dave) is reading my blog, as my ideas are seeping into the higher echelons of government.
Never let it be said I fail to take advantage of my new power for the betterment of society.
Here's my Hurley 10 Point Plan that I now expect the government to enact and which will bring about instant happiness, a revived economy and an all-pervading grooviness that will spread the feel-good factor of the Welsh Grand Slam right across the UK:
|Er sir... You'll have to put your shirt back on!|
- End VAT on hot take aways (as pre-1984) so we can all celebrate with fish and chips (and drop VAT back to 15% or even 10%).
- Promote meat-free Fridays (you can say it's for the environment to placate all the liberals).
- Ban men with moobs going topless when the sun shines for the sanity of us all. And men over 25 can be arrested for dressing like teenagers (3/4 trousers, silly wordy t-shirts etc.)
- Ban "boom boom" bass-heavy music in boy racer cars (whatever the weather).
- Next 'quantatatatative easing' - give us the money so we can pay it into the banks - great for us and the economy, banks end up with the money - so same end result.
- Bring Doctor Martens back to Northants and give 50% vouchers to all. Decent shoes for school, work and walking the dog.
- Drop the TV license and replace it with a single 1 minute advert between each programme (I detest adverts - but I resent paying for the BBC even more).
- Cap utility bills at a small percentage above the wholesale price (so no huge profits).
- Make the national Saints' Days public holidays with processions, celebrations, concerts etc.
- And drop the whole gay marriage thing which is just... erm... so... erm... gay!
And there's so much more good work to do! I am planning my campaign to promote pork pies and Brains beer right now!