A Child in Court and Homophobia at Church Jumble Sale?

Every now and then I enjoy winding-up Old Ma Hurley. So it was I sent her a text this morning at a most ungodly hour. I hope that winds up sour-faced atheist mullahs who've taken to moaning about my blog and its religious nature on a particularly vile anti-Catholic blog.

The text was "I'm taking [our eldest child] to court." After a few texts I had to confess (oh these bigoted Catholic terms!) that it was all merely part of his studying Law and he and fellow students from various South Welsh schools were there to take part in a pretend-trial competition.

This afternoon at our local Catholic Church's jumble sale (I can hear atheists falling like flies at all this religious bigotry) some of the ladies running the stalls asked after the children not with me (the youngest was busy winning bottles of smellies and suchlike from the bottle stall) and as part of this I explained that the eldest was taking part in the pretend trial.

"I only hope there isn't a dreadful mix-up and he isn't 'sent down' for five years" I quipped and they all grinned, "mind you," I continued, "if I work out how much it'll save me in food bills maybe it wouldn't be a total disaster." I added a wink at the end, just in case.

We bought some fairy cakes ("is this yet more Catholic homophobia?" screech the atheist commissars) and made our way home.

That very evening the eldest child did indeed make it home just in time for sausage in batter and chips from the best chip shop in Wales, proving my argument true at least. Still it was good to see him walk through the door. Honest.

Welsh Assembly Vote to Ban Smacking - Oh Hoorah!

Politicians need telling-off

I'm sooooo glad the Welsh Assembly thinks that a government should make the smacking of children illegal.

After all, it's not as if youth unemployment is rising, or that drug addiction is a problem in towns across Wales, or that youngsters can't afford to buy houses... real issues needing real solutions.

How refreshing rather that they want to stick their noses into family's affairs and stop parents teaching children right from wrong with an occasional smack in extreme circumstances (running into roads etc.)!

They say smacking can lead to abuse: but abuse is already illegal. We may as well ban everyone drinking the odd beer, as that could lead to heroin use. Or ban us all driving 30mph on the streets as that could lead to driving 60mph in our towns.

I've got an idea though. Let's ban politicians: because at the moment putting them in office does inexorably lead to ridiculous laws and nanny state stupidity.

They should be made to go sit in the corner, stop passing silly measures and made to write out "I must deal with real problems that impact on peoples lives and communities" 500 times.

Sock Puppets Against Consumerism

You know how lots of people moan about everything becoming homogenised? Every high street is the same. Every out-of-town shopping area is the same. Every "mall" is the same. Pop music is hand-picked, toys are mass-produced. And so on.

Sometimes, despite the neon lights, the bright colours, the sugary tastes -- the very feeling that we are all playing, eating, watching, wearing and buying stuff made and sold by the same handful of companies can make everything seem, well, a bit bland.

Sony, McDonalds, Tesco's, Coca Cola, Asda, Adidas...  It's getting to the point where we're all "consumered" out.

Now being a man of a certain age (the nomenclature "bloke" seems apt), being a Hurley, and the apple not falling far from the tree and all that - it is rare for me to open my wallet. 'A fool and his money are easily parted' is my favourite saying. Oh I do my fare share of alms giving to deserving causes - but I loathe giving money to big businesses when I can help it.

Of course I live in the real world and when the boss brings the shopping in to assuage the fears of my mouths-to-stomachs-on-legs - sorry, I mean the children - I detest the fact that some fat cat is sitting by his pool toasting my health as items from Lever Brothers, Kellogg's and others go into the pantry.

So anything we can do to buck the trend is akin to a small victory. A tiny guerrilla ambush against the huge armies of the corporations invading our metaphorical homeland.

We have to pay our utility bills, mortgage, credit cards and much else besides too, all of which is like being an indentured slave. All those fat cats must be toasting my health (so long as I can work every hour God sends just to pay their over-inflated bills) as they sit by their heated pools.

So the other day when the boss (Mrs H) and our youngest made these sock puppets, from er... socks, using buttons and such like I gave an ear splitting war cry, held them aloft in the living room and cried out to heaven: "Take that Mattel and Hasbro. I will not be your consumer-slave any longer."

Then I dashed to the kitchen, dug out some blue poster-paint from the corner of a cupboard, smeared half my face in it a la William Wallace (the Welshman), ran out into the street and cried "FREEEEEDOM!"

I have asked the judge for clemency. ;-)

Hooray for Playgrounds and Playing in the Street

I came across this on the BBC website.

What a great idea! Close more roads. Make more of them one-way/dead ends. Our own road has a school, playground, library, nursery, post office etc. yet cars regularly drive down it at anything from 50 - 70 mph even when the children are walking to school.

I really think more green areas, parks, playgrounds etc. are a must.

I was lucky when I was growing up, we had a great park up the top of our road with a stream in it to go "sticklebacking" with nets and another park a few blocks down with a large playground and football pitches.

Having safe areas to play, ride bikes, hang out with friends, climb trees (health and safety alert!!!) - all this is so important.

There is a playground near us which has been slowly ripped apart year on year. The climbing frame went, then something else, and another, and so on. Now it's an empty shell fit only for dog poop.

Playgrounds and green spaces aren't "sexy" when it comes to government and parliament. Yet they are what really matters. If Blair had spent as much time getting state of the art playgrounds in every community as he spent on starting dodgy wars or pushing through homosexual rights more of the children in society might be a little more well-balanced.

Now I'm off to play on the swings. ;-)