Pagan Prisoners to Pray in the Nude? It's No Oil Painting

I am not a number: and I'm keeping my kit on! 

It's in the news today that a pagan prisoner wants the "right" to pray in the nude. Presumably he's allowed his own altar, tree to hug (watch those splinters!) or cat to sacrifice? One assumes these would be his "rights" also.

Can I state here and now I wish to press my own right never to have to pray in the nude, or to witness others do so?

Some hedonists or pagans or even atheists may worship the human body (though in my humble opinion the non air-brushed variety or those not touched-up in paintings are no... erm... oil paintings, on average) yet it always strikes me as weird in the extreme that these Heinz 57 varieties of weirdies would prefer to worship the human body, rather than the God who created it. It's also a wonder that the most hedonistic and narcissistic of all are the ones who seek out the surgeon's knife to alter their body the most. Whilst denying God they would seek to play at being God, seeking to defy time, age and gravity, which God in His wisdom made laws of nature.

I'm happier to leave my ageing, sagging body as it is - as long as I don't have to see it too often! Even wearing shorts in the Summer is enough to make cats screech and passers-by run for cover. I am reminded of Old Pa Hurley in his football playing days. Many said he was sponsored by Unigate, given the resemblance between his legs and two pints of milk!

As for the pagan prisoners, I would say they can have their "rights" to pray in the nude, alone in a cold cell, surrounded by mirrors. This may at first appeal to their narcissistic nature, but would soon make them realise that whilst scientifically the human body is a wonder in its intricacy thanks to its Creator, its reality in the cold light of day is all too often a sobering sight that'd frighten the horses.

A Child in Court and Homophobia at Church Jumble Sale?

Every now and then I enjoy winding-up Old Ma Hurley. So it was I sent her a text this morning at a most ungodly hour. I hope that winds up sour-faced atheist mullahs who've taken to moaning about my blog and its religious nature on a particularly vile anti-Catholic blog.

The text was "I'm taking [our eldest child] to court." After a few texts I had to confess (oh these bigoted Catholic terms!) that it was all merely part of his studying Law and he and fellow students from various South Welsh schools were there to take part in a pretend-trial competition.

This afternoon at our local Catholic Church's jumble sale (I can hear atheists falling like flies at all this religious bigotry) some of the ladies running the stalls asked after the children not with me (the youngest was busy winning bottles of smellies and suchlike from the bottle stall) and as part of this I explained that the eldest was taking part in the pretend trial.

"I only hope there isn't a dreadful mix-up and he isn't 'sent down' for five years" I quipped and they all grinned, "mind you," I continued, "if I work out how much it'll save me in food bills maybe it wouldn't be a total disaster." I added a wink at the end, just in case.

We bought some fairy cakes ("is this yet more Catholic homophobia?" screech the atheist commissars) and made our way home.

That very evening the eldest child did indeed make it home just in time for sausage in batter and chips from the best chip shop in Wales, proving my argument true at least. Still it was good to see him walk through the door. Honest.