Death of a Superhero

You've all heard of Cornman right? He was the pint-sized superhero who used corn-on-the-cob handles/skewers like throwing stars, to fight evil n stuff. 

Above: cornman's weapon of choice. 

His jokes could be a bit... corny. And he could get a bit moody when he 'got a cob on.'

But criminals and evil-doers feared his homespun brand of justice. 

So today I can only apologise because after I parked the car I saw this directly behind one of my tyres. 

Yes it seem Cornman is no more. He's moved onto that great BBQ in the sky. 

And the streets feel a little less safe...

Nasty Nazi Slippers?

There was a Daily Mail (quelle surprise!) story 'tother day about a bloke upset that his online ordered slippers has swastikas in the grip pattern on the sole. 

Above: Sam Purdie with the Nazi slippers. "They ain't purdy."

Well imagine my shock when for my recent birthday (I'm 28) Mrs H asked what I wanted. After my usual litany of wine gums, beers n whiskey, I said I might need new slippers. 'Cos I like gardening I said "what about some pansy ones?" (I move with the times, see). 

I think I may have to return these though: 

Not only did she get it wrong, but they clash with my T34 loafers (if you don't know, ask your dad). 

Mind you, I have taken to singing "snooze-time, snooze-time uber alles" of an evening. 

Plus I can't wear them whilst shaking my fist at the News at Ten. I don't want people to think I'm a sauerkraut. 

And to close here's a sign Mrs H and I stumbled across in Marlborough, in case the above has driven you to alcohol. Amen.